All roads lead to me
by thatsonehappychick
Summary: Castiel was afraid he might want to kill himself after all the destruction he had caused, but with his habbit of constantly resurrecting this was definiteley easier said than done.
1. Chapter 1

Season 8 e8 Warning I haven't seen anything much of this season! Only what peps have put up on you tube so what follows is a desperately bored brain filling in time with borrowed and made up plot ideas based titbits of scattered info which were not even viewed in the right order. Please don't take this too seriously it's all made up. Please be forewarned this has not been betta'd and everything is probably correctable!

Anyway all that aside... I heard this line while viewing these random clips "I'm afraid I might kill myself" from Cas and I didn't think enough was made of it, I could well be wrong on that of course but for anyone to say this and for no one to respond was just so sad. I had to fix it a bit, only I'm not the best or nicest person to do this and so _this_ weird idea came up... and grew and then expanded. I don't quite know where it ends yet but adding to it whenever I have a minute to spare certainly keeps me entertained.

Don't own anything hence it's not yet been broken.

Opening line from S8E8

"I'm afraid I might kill myself" Cas said bitterly hoping Dean would finally see what he was going through because he really couldn't spell it out any clearer to the man. Only in his distress Cas suddenly realised he'd not only said out loud what was going on in his head but he'd actually broadcast it as well. It took a lot of effort to with hold information from Angel radio and all these new alien emotions running around Cas' mind caused constant energy spikes or broadcasts of his thoughts. Fortunately embarrassment was still utterly alien to him so most of the random stuff he sent he quickly shrugged off as shit happens but this, this one really he wished he'd kept to himself.

Feeling more uncomfortable than Dean looked Cas just stared at his stunned friend. Luckily the silence was short lived as Sam strode quickly into the room laden with news on a new case. Cas near flew over to Sam's side desperate distance himself from that thought and focus on anything else instead. The normality of Sam's droning voice calmed him down instantly bringing him back to his senses _'who the hells going to be listening to me anyway?' _he thought dismissing the importance of those words;the significance of that little _cry_ for attention. _'All the angels all think I'm dead, lost or completely bonkers; who's really going to care_?'

Ooo

Upstairs Cas' unique form of madness has the complete opposite effect.

After a hard day's skirmishing and smiting most angels like to tune in to catch up with whatever 'Crazy Cas' has been up to in his strange little life today. Some Angels consider him a meagre but compelling distraction while others hang on to his every word as Castiel has become to them _classic_ comedy entertainment. 'Pull my finger' is now quoted dozens of times a day by those angels who are developing a sense of humour and as a quandary by those who are still struggling with the concept. Cas' latest words however are not funny. Heaven stands dead still after hearing him say these terrible words.

Even Michael and Lucifer (Who still like to keep in touch) stop fighting in disbelief at what they just heard. The endless queuing souls in hell wonder at the silence as the two angels exchange glances. "Could we have paid him a little more attention?" Lucifer asks.

"We're his brothers not his father. We are not responsible for this" Michael replied hotly "And come on we're all a bit messed up with this abandonment thing and he's far from the first angel to do something drastic for attention; it can't always fall onto us 'the first born' to deal with these stupid little outbursts"

"Yes there have been a few, especially lately" Lucifer agreed, his voice soft as he pondered a few of the possible outcomes to this. Lately however his talent to fore tell future events was getting weaker, as if too much free will was clouding his vision. He tutted in frustration, he had loved that talent too it freaked everyone out and made him look so smug. "But none quite as intriguing; that is if 'Angel Radio' statistics are anything to go by. I wish I'd paid his little cause a bit more attention now. What exactly did he want to achieve anyway after he shut the cage door on us and went back upstairs?"

Michael gave Lucifer a long look "Damned If I know. Nothing in heaven is black and white anymore especially with these new lower level angels. They lack our direction..." Michael paused "Actually maybe if I hadn't been so focused on our fight and spent more time seeking a new dimension of crap for us all to fight... or something, heaven wouldn't be so messed up. Imagine if our father came back tomorrow and saw all the chaos up there what would he say?"

"Don't" Lucifer quickly interrupted "You have done more than anyone to carry his torch while he's been away. The others will sort Castiel out; father must have left a plan for this kind of situation"

"He did" Michael said gravely "and from what I can remember it wasn't good. I never really paid it much attention after all our fight took precedence, everything else just fell under the heading 'plan B'. But from what I do remember, well let's just say our fight was by far the lesser of two evils. At least ours ended with heaven on earth. 'Plan B' was to abandon all hope" Michael finished thoughtfully turning his gaze back skyward as if to see what was going on in the world outside.

Lucifer followed suite focussing intently on his internal radio for more information. The stunned silence continued. "Only if you won"

"What?"

"It would have ended with heaven on earth _only_ if _you_ had "won" Lucifer repeated bored stiff with the stunned silence and so filling it with chatter."I wanted something far better, more creative"

"I was always going to win" Michael said with absolute certainly

"Well, now that father has had adequate time to consider my views on well... everything maybe he has reassessed my decision to bestow his boring little creations the beautiful gift of knowledge and realised that I actually made earth a lot more interesting with all the free will, self sacrifice and such so perhaps...(dramatic pause) I already won"

"You're talking rubbish brother. You ruined fathers pet project; he made us to protect his creation and you took your powers and used them to ruin his perfect ideal world. You even twisted his children to make these demon _things _of yours; you took your powers, your gifts and used them as best you could to offend. I was, I am going to win to save all this from you and your so called creativity"

"Remember the parable of the prodigal son? God has a warped sense of humour on these things you know"

"Only you could describe yourself as prodigal with that much delight" Michael snapped, "And His humour isn't warped it's just lost on you. He wasn't talking about you anyway, your vanity is disconcerting even for me and I expect it"

Lucifer fell silent for a bit glad to have riled Michael a bit, just like the good old days.

"I never liked that parable" Michael said finding all the silence equally as difficult, "The righteous son was hard done by, by all accounts"

"Emphasizing much?" Lucifer said sarcastically "Tell me we're not related"

"All I'm saying is if the end of the world doesn't involve our frigging fight after all this time waiting then I'm going to be real pissed" Michael said showing how pissed 'pissed' meant.

"That's the spirit you perfect little soldier you. Because if no one left Dean in hell or even Castiel in purgatory than of course they aren't going to leave you the ever dutiful, most righteous son of heaven rotting away down here with me, are they?"

"This cage is impenetrable"

"Then where's Sammy gone?"

Michael glared at Lucifer then, long and hard as thoughts occurred to him "There has been a lot of free will amongst the angels lately, a lot of new ideas. Too many unfocussed newbie's, that we admittedly have never taken the time to get to know, are now in a position to run the entire show. Shit. I never thought about it but these lower level cannon fodder guys out number us proper angels a hundred to one, and with me, you, Gabriel, not that he was much use and now Raphael out of the picture who the hell has control? And what now is the plan? Obviously I; uh we don't come into it and we are so going to have to do something about that"

"Well what do you know we agree on something? Unless whoever it is running the show now has a better sense of chaos than..."

"They have stolen our thunder to achieve this" Michael bellowed in self righteous anger "We are the most powerful angels in heaven no one steals our thunder I don't care how much better their plan is ours is as old as time... well earth so we will stop at nothing to gain control again"

"Right then, a fight it is, _**if **_of course we can get out"

The two angels stood in mutual silence listening to the radio for more information.

oooo

In heaven someone does have the emergency plan for such a crisis. Cory (Another unknown angel) leader in defending the earth against invading Gods (AKA uncle; in my world Gods must be related, it's the only explanation) descends from the outer limits of heavens vast heights to where the lowest garrison resides. Or at least where they should reside, they're all dead.

"Who the hell is watching over the earth?" Cory demands panicked "No wonder this terrible day has befallen us" He called down the rest of his battalion "Code red guys we have a suicidal angel down here, apparently the last of his garrison gone mad. We must stop him killing himself as..." He pulled out a mystic scroll titled 'Plan B' terrible events which occur if 'Plan A' is ruined and things seem to be going to pot. Cory read down the scroll a bit. As with all biblical type text the wording was designed to ensure maximum monotony mixed with vast amounts of vagueness, but Cory persevered and loosely translated what he could. "Such an act is all it takes to break the seal keeping the gates to heaven closed. Opening these gates would mean losing all the good souls within"

His battalion gasped, where they had been divided on bringing about the apocalypse they could all agree on this being a bad thing.

"We cannot allow this" Cory continued (Spelling out the what's and why's for the benefit of the thick angels among them)"Those souls are our power source and if the lights in heaven go out then we angels will be incapable of defending heaven and earth. We must stop Castiel from attempting this heinous act and save all of God's creation, mostly ourselves, the best part of our father's creation. Even if he doesn't see it himself" Cory then sent a message (prayer?) directly to Castiel over the AR.(AR =Angel Radio, wish I could think of something a little more catchy)

Unfortunately Cas has turned his AR off to concentrate on solving Sam's case so there is a slight delay between him dropping the suicide bombshell and heavens response.

By now Cas has gotten over his fit of depression and found some strange acceptance with himself again. (Sam's words of wisdom to Fred Jones might have had a lot to do with this; Cas likes Winchester advise it always seems so full of wisdom) Cas knows he can't change the past, (well he could actually as he can time travel, but he knows deep, deep down that he's wanted to kill all those dicks for a while now so can't because he won't) but he still craves for reconciliation with what's left of his super massive heavenly family. Before now he had desperately demanded he be let back in to make amends, but now he saw that he had to compromise, to seek forgiveness and slowly maybe never but to at least try his best to earn his way back in.

When Cas eventually turned his AR back on and saw that he had a personal message waiting his attention; the rush of happiness at heavens response overwhelmed him a bit and triggered a quick flash back to when he tried going back to home before only to be stopped in reception and curtly told 'No! Unless I ring my bell you stay out!" (I've since learned this angel is possibly evil, she's just another general dick here) The hurt this caused was incredible. Seeing Sam and Dean were talking rubbish he tuned out to listen to what the heavenly message was about.

"Castiel?" The message repeated awaiting response

"Hello?" Castiel responded, he didn't recognize the caller but with such a vast family this wasn't unusual.

"Finally" Cory sighed slightly annoyed "Heaven is ready to deal with you now. Meet us in a convenient field nearby to talk. Just make sure it's secure as we refuse to take on those dirty human suits for this visitation"

"Okay" Cas transmitted back before returning back to the situation at hand. It is the conclusion to episode 8, and Sam and Dean are looking at him expectantly. Cas has forgotten what he was saying after his little flash back and AR time. He remembers 'shot gun' and 'well done' parts of the conversation, unexpected praise from Dean which actually makes him feel quite mad considering the times he's died and got squat before now. The boy's look like they're ready to leave, it's a good time for Cas to leave too; Sam can keep the front seat. "I uh, um..." creative lying was never easy for Cas "Want stay behind with Mr Jones. Someone should watch over him for a few days just to be safe" He said hoping that would be acceptable or at least make sense.

This clearly is not what the boys were expecting as they both fix him with meaning full looks.

Dean felt like he had just had his prized front seat thrown literally in his face; and by his best friend no less. To him that car was heaven, the driver God and that shot gun seat was what everyone should hope to aspire to. He struggled to think what his father would have done in this situation. Nothing came to mind. Dean felt sick to the stomach but bravely soldiered on "And then what?" he gasped as a little emotion leaked out.

Cas ignored Deans internal struggle. Once it would have intrigued him and he would have stared long and hard trying to comprehend the righteous mans way of thinking; but right now he needed to do good in heavens eyes as well as Dean's. He needed to win back an _actual_ seat of power back home, if that was even possible. "And then I'm not sure but I know I can't run anymore" Cas answered but just as he said it _run_ was just what he wanted to do as he noticed the wounded look Sam was giving him. Cas read into Sam's mind, he was momentarily relieving the pain of his most recent female love loss in a very vivid flash back. Cas struggled to find the relevance of that in this situation. Their friendship didn't and never was going to amount to anything like that Cas was sure.

The hurt on Sam's face however was undeniable as he fixed Cas with an extra sad kicked puppy look. Cas smiled gently and pretended this was not happening, hopefully he was just misunderstanding.

Dean turned on his heel "Sam you with me?" He said marching off before he started lecturing an angel on the damn relevance of the prized shot gun position in his life.

Sam continued to direct his gaze at Cas until even he began to feel awkward. He turned and followed Dean out without a word.

With an internal sigh of relief Cas watched them go. He sat down next to Mr Jones and waited for the roar of the impala pulling away to make sure they wern't coming back. As he allowed himself to relax he remembered to be insulted that Dean had totally forgotten his whole 'I might kill myself' speech from earlier _'and they say I have no bloody feelings!_' he thought as he got up to go meet up with his holy brethren.

Ooo

"What's taking so long?" Michael asked always impatient for results

Lucifer has a far better grasp of what Cas is like having spent two hours over all with him and having a far better if not twisted sense of emotion than his brother. "He's walking and gets easily distracted"

"Walking?" Michael spat like the word hurt him "Is he alright?"

"He likes human peculiarities"

"Now what?"

"He's still walking; it's quite a slow process"

"I shall order him to hurry up"

"No" Lucifer snapped "He's deliberating"

"Deliberating?" Michael said listening to what quiet random words he could read from Castiels mind from such a distance (like Lucifer could make contact with Sam despite him being hidden from angels) "He's watching bugs, he's nuts" Michael said irritated.

"He's saying good bye to the things he loves pay attention. I love this kind of angst reminds me of the moment's hesitation I had before I truly fell. Remember when..."

"Please don't go over this story again it was so boring the first thousand times" Michael said further irritated " You know your problem? You're too in touch with your inner female teenage angst. If you're going to continue to dwell on the past and I can see by that 'bitch face' you're giving me that you are, than at least edit it down to the bare facts. I'm not interested in every last insignificant detail Lucy, no one is; it's just all some sort of pretext to yet more bloody pointless angst"

"The devil is always in the detail" Lucifer said deadly serious as he remembered his own downfall thanks to a certain toy soldier in a certain stupid impala. Spitefully he turned his anger on Michael "You know if you'd have bothered to pay attention to me back in the day then we _really_ wouldn't be here now. We would be up there hitting our little brother over the head with wet socks and stopping him from destroying all creation instead! So stop with the constant rush when..."

"Gentle men!" Crowley said entering the deep hidden hellish dungeon containing 'The Cage' "Your silence is deafening, sorry, predicable, over used I know. But what's going on here? Where's the eternal fighting? "

"Events back home just got interesting" Lucifer answered meeting Crowley's smug manner with a rich smugness of his own.

"Fill me in wont you?" Crowley asked his superior manner still intact

The Angels looked at each other and spoke secretly via AR, something that really ticked Crowley right off

"_If Cory fails, and let's face it our Castiel is one sneaky bastard, then we could use Crowley's help swatting that little gnat. After all Cas is partly why we're stuck in this infernal place, well why I'm stuck in this infernal place" _Michael broadcast'ed? bitterly .

"_And If Crowley were to fail then no one's going to be keeping us in here! It could be a win win situation or just an excuse to mix things up for those newbie angels upstairs" _Lucifer replied

The angels nodded agreement and turned their attention back to Crowley "Sure" they both agreed with their sweetest most sincere smiles.

Crowley felt an involuntarily shiver run down his spine, angels are all sneaky bastards and he hated every single last one of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Still own nothing!

Castiel finally found a suitable spot to meet his heavenly brothers in. He decided to reflect a bit more before making the call. Death had called him mutated and that still bothered him. He felt different. Reaching into hell, taking plagues ring of power, carrying the leviathan and then finally taking Sam's hellish ordeal on board; he knows it's all changed him. He's just not sure _how_ it's changed him. One thing he did know for certain however was that every angel that came into contact with him now ended up wanting to kill him and ended up dead in the process. Cas knew he had to somehow stop destroying his brethren he was feeling ever more guilty with each death. Was that too human of him? Well he was going to stop fighting heaven. He was going to stand up to his family and they would sort this out together like families should. He called them down.

They appeared naked in their true form. As brilliant flashes of pure light, which eventually settled and dimed to invisible humanoid sized figures. Cas could see them all quite clearly and heard their soundless voices

"Castiel we are here to prevent the first angel suicide and thus prevent the opening of the gates to heaven"

"I know" Castiel replied

"We have decided to kill you making it is impossible for you to kill yourself thus ending this threat"

'_Why does my family have to be such a bunch of dicks?_'Cas thought but said "That's your solution? I could just put myself in harm's way for some righteous cause; do you have any 'one way' righteous causes that need attending to?"

"Not at the moment" Cory replied "The last one was retrieving you from purgatory a few died achieving that. There are no plans of that scale on the foreseeable horizon"

"I could wait till something came up" Castiel offered

"No! For even having thought that sinful thought you are now the biggest threat to heaven that there is. All angels everywhere would feel safer if we dealt with you now"

"Fine, then I must warn you that I'm ridiculously hard to kill. To date I have notably survived our brother s Lucifer and Raphael. I have also more recently been stabbed multiple times with angel swords; the last one didn't even break flesh"

"Have you ever tried archangel sword?" Cory asked his tone toneless "I have gathered all of them"

"You've come prepared then" Cas stated without hint of concealed irritation

"Yes your escapades have been quite interesting" Cory said with a subtle hint of an invisible smile "I will admit to missing your bizarre escapades after this. You're different brother but not harmless; angels seem to die in your presents all too frequently which alone is cause for quite some caution. Shall we proceed?"

Two angels came to stand either side of Cas firmly taking hold his shoulders. Their natural form was red hot to the touch and burnt through his over coat scolding his flesh. Cas winced and glanced down to see the damage they were causing to his coat, Cory used the distraction to stab him in the gut. The blade passed through cas' torso like a hot knife through butter. The angels looked on with as much pity for their brother as a bunch of total emotionless bastards could.

"Could we hurry this along please?" Cas asked tearing up a bit after seeing the needless damage wrought upon his damn coat. It was only going to get worse.

Cory looked bewildered "Sorry" He muttered and quickly plunged another arch angel sword into Cas' torso. This time a little light escaped so a third, fourth and fifth blade was added. A little more light shone through, a lot of blood squirted, but Cas still stood there unimpressed.

"How it this possible?" Cory sighed puzzled "Does it even hurt?"

"Compared to recent events, no not really; it's not even that uncomfortable" Cas said with an air of bored disappointment.

Cory shook his first attempted look of dismay and placed a white hot hand onto Castiel's forehead. Cas lit up instantly and fell limp as his light slowly extinguished.

"Blimey I actually had my doubts for a second there" Cory said looking at the equally relieved angels around him.

"Your doubt was not misplaced" Came Cas' calm voice from where he now stood behind the other angels.

Cory turned, took in the undamaged angel, turned back to observe the pile of swords now heaped at his feet and sighed "Shit, I wanted to get away early today as well"

Ooo

"Now what's happening?" Crowley growled as Michael and Lucifer stood silently staring for longer than his patients could stand.

"Well" said Michael "Castiel is still alive"

"Well duh!" Lucifer mocked "If he survived being zapped by me then a knock from a little hack like Cory's not going to do anything"

"Cory has been successfully defending the heavens for millennia, he's no hack, he's just not met Cas before" Michael said just because he liked correcting Lucifer.

"He is rather an unassuming gnat" Lucifer said "We need to make this more interesting. Suggest to Cory that he gets the big guns out" He urged Michael "Go on he'll do it if it comes from you, no one's had a chance to play with those old weapons for ages it would be good to see those babies in action again"

"Weeell" Michael said considering the pros and cons of this idea "God has given us the perfect opportunity here with our unbeatable brother; and we do need to know if those things still work after Balthazar chopped them all up"

"Disrespectful bastard, if you can't revere an honest to God holy weapon than what hope is there?" Lucifer said disgusted "Honestly I have to wonder if I'm really all that bad compared to the rest of you"

Michael looked at Lucifer pointedly before broadcasting to the other angels "Fetch all of heavens holy arsenal something in that box of tricks will work"

"Finally you are all beginning to understand" Cas said "Luckily I had all our holy weapons returned"

Cory looked reluctant "Such heavenly power of mass destruction should not be tested lightly" He said placing his hand on Castiel's head once more and zapping till he felt he could pass out.

Cas stood unmoved, a little wisp of smoke was the only sign that anything significant had just taken place "If you really want to do this then I suggest you fetch the weapons" Cas growled

"Okay fetching the weapons" Cory agreed

Ooo

"Can we get a TV in here for this?" Lucifer asked Crowley

"This is hell!" Crowley roared "The cage no less, in the lowest pit in hell and you want..."

"But we're not just talking about Moses' little stick here they are going to be using everything! ALL the holy confiscated arsenal" Michael said noting the lack of excitement on Crowley's face "The really big guns!" Michael finished adding his 'beg' face to Lucifer's

"Fine" Crowley relented as like all boys he loved big guns "Let's do this then. Minion! Set cameras up on that field! You fetch a plasma from my suite and you bring the chardonnay; might as well make an evening of it"

Crowley magic'ed up a few couches for them all "Comfortable?" He asked without really looking at his permanent guests and sat down to watch the show. His moment was ruined however as an annoying little voice called out from one the countless dungeons around him

"Watch'a watch'in?" Meg's voice came floating in, a grating sing song chime.

"Shut up and suffer" Crowley snapped "Unfaithful little turn coat"

"Say that again" Lucifer growled, Meg was still in his good books

"You know she's seeing your brother on the side right?" Crowley said hoping he didn't

"She is?" Lucifer responded only mildly interested

"Yeah totally" Meg called "But come on with fingers in every pie you can't ignore the fact that I could be useful here! Come on boy's give a girl a chance"

"Actually the look on your face when your angel weapon toy breaks will be priceless" Crowley mocked "Fine unhook yourself for five minutes then"

She was already there sitting cross legged and ready "He won't break I got faith in that one, Corse I got a lot of faith in you too" She added noticing the look Lucifer was giving her

Oooo

The cameras were positioned.

The holy weapons gathered

The show commenced.

Cas stood unaided as angels took turns hitting him with various weapons.

First were the swords Excalibur, Clarent, Joyeuse and Tyrfing.

"Anything?" Cory asked

"Nothing" Cas replied studying the ornate detailing in the swords hilts as they protruded from his ribcage. "There's still some kick to Tyrfing though if you slashed fast enough you might be able to slice me up faster than I could heal"

Cory selected the fastest among them to try this. The angel slashed and chopped as fast as he could. Soon blood and gore was everywhere, coating every angel and surface within a six mete diameter; still the chopping persisted. Cas was reduced to a fine mince before the angel finally relented and gave in to exhaustion.

Cas resurrected before the angel caught his breath "Next?"

"Next" Cory stated "Cursed swords. The curses alone have killed many demi Gods but we will dip them in demon blood for extra bite"

There was a few cool effects and stuff but Cas remained alive.

ooo

"Boring!" Lucifer growled "Can we not just cut to the good stuff already?"

"Patience" Michael muttered mentally cataloguing all of heavens arsenal. "Ah! Remember the Nagastra?" he said getting all nostalgic

"Snake flame that never misses right? It's just a flame thrower not really that impressive by today's standards" Lucifer said picking dirt from his finger nails

"We'll see about that... or maybe not" Michael said disappointed "Is that even the real one?"

"I remember it being bigger"

"The shield of Hephaestus? How are you going to kill someone with... oh okay, and the horn of... Wow didn't see that coming"

"Ten out of ten for imagination" Lucifer said impressed

"Still alive though" Crowley sighed "Amateurs"

"Where the heck is Dean through all this?" Meg said slurping a pinched glass of chardonnay through a straw.

"Shhh!" Everyone else including tortured souls hissed.

Michael continued his descriptive commentary for the weapons...


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you lunar wolf maiden your kind encouragement is much appreciated, hope you continue to enjoy!

Still don't own

Oooo

After five hours of driving Dean had finally exhausted his tape collection and had listened to everything Sam could possibly bitch about at this moment in time. Finally he started to look over his mental 'to do' list. Going quickly passed things you can't do while driving or while in company, he ended up at his 'things to worry about' list, top of which was Cas. Dean had to admit that he didn't really know what the angel was going through. He thought he was supposed to be emotionless like all the other angels but apparently this was not the case. Dean knew Cas couldn't keep running forever, not from his family no one could. He was glad that the guy was proving to be better in that respect than his brother Gabriel had been but he also selfishly wished he was still running with them too.

Sam soon grew tired of the heavy silence. Dean was clearly up tight and refusing to talk yet again. Finally after a few hours too many a motel loomed like a wondrous mirage on the road before them "This place looks good come on Dean pull over I'm getting restless" Sam said interrupting Deans thoughts.

Dean pulled over and Sam flew out of the car, ran to reception, ran back tossing some keys at Dean who was still sat in the car looking for the fire in the passenger seat and started fishing for his running shoes in a duffel on the back seat. "Going to stretch my legs see you in a couple o kay?" He said bounding off before Dean even got a whiff of his socks as he changed his shoes on the hop.

Dean was bemused, Sam couldn't shock him anymore but he certainly could perplex him. Was that super humanly fast or what? Or super girly; his brother had just bored him with all his stupid issues and then left without a second thought. Suddenly Dean remembered he was alone, alone with no Sam or Cas for the first time in a couple of days, he went back into his mental to do list and smiled as now he didn't have to skip all the important stuff. He headed over to the cheap motel room for a break with a cheap bottle of whisky and his trusty lap top.

ooo

Sam wasn't coping too well, everyone was always leaving and as usual it made him feel really angry inside. Running helped, his mind emptied and relaxed when he exercised. Why didn't these things bother Dean more? How was it his brother could always take crap like this on the chin without the need to blow off steam? Sure Dean could carry guilt like no one else on earth but really there had to be some sort of limit to what he could take before he wanted to cry just as hard as Sam did right now. Cry was a step too far, Sam was actually too manly to need to cry but he really felt strongly about this and Dean didn't feel strongly enough he was sure. Maybe Sam just wanted someone to rant about the injustice of the world with rather than at? That sounded a bit crazy, Sam concentrated harder on the running and less about what kind of a big girly girl he was turning into.

Sam ran for two hours straight before admitting that he needed more lettuce if he wasn't going to pass out. He found a salad bar and refuelled his body. But as he ate he noticed that he was still upset; it was really getting on his nerves now. He noticed a gym across the street and decided to spend an hour hitting some free weights.

Four hours later and Sam was slowly walking back slurping a super nutritious protein shake and watching the world go by. He was finally feeling a little better in himself and purposely putting off getting back too soon and finding out exactly how mad/worried his brother was no doubt going to be. That could wait for now Sam just wanted to stay in this quiet moment.

Suddenly it hit him why he was so troubled when Dean and then Cas returned from purgatory he had hoped that they would all settle to some sort of easy routine for a few episodes longer than they actually had. Was that really too much to ask for? Sure they had hazardous careers purposely looking for trouble around every turn; sure they had absolutely no luck in love or even friends really but this lately sucked more than ever. If that was possible.

They needed a break some good news for once. Just as he thought this he was jumped by a two demons lurking in shadows behind him. Sam heard the running footsteps approaching from behind and knew he was in trouble. Dropping his shake he tried to turn to face his attackers before they landed a hit to the back of his head, he got a whack in the ear instead and landed with a thump next to his shake on the sidewalk. He looked up and saw two men standing over him smiling

"Sam Winchester" They smiled eyes turning black "Boss wants to know what the angels are up to. We hope you won't be giving this information up too easily"

Sam had no weapons on him and was seriously tired from the gym, he just wanted to go back to the motel and sulk some more about people leaving. He felt really unnecessary upset about this; he could quite physically feel a major temper tantrum building up inside him wanting to blow. It almost physically hurt it felt so strong '_I really got to get a grip'_ He thought trying to get up to face the demons but all he could do was raise his arm in a futile attempt at blocking a kick aimed at his head '_This is going to hurt!_' He thought waiting for the pain to hit him 'S_o unfair, wait where's the pain?_' Sam peeked open an eye that he had squeezed shut and saw the black demon smoke just finish exiting their hosts. The smoke disappeared with a scream down into the shadows of an alleyway and the human hosts fell limp beside him disorientated but okay.

Sam looked around; the street was otherwise empty. He stood up grabbed his shake which had been too thick to totally spill out of the cup muttered "five second rule" and continued on his way back to the motel. He felt kind of numb after that but in a good way like the worst had already happened and things could only get better for him here on in. He rubbed the side of his head to check that demon hadn't hit him too hard as it wasn't normal for him to feel this way, positive for once. His head felt fine. His world felt fine, his substitute chocolate flavoured shake was fine and he was going to bed.

When Sam finally returned Dean was sitting on the bed propped up against the head by various pillows. His eyes were closed head slumped to one side and he was snoring. On his lap the laptop was still playing 'Spirited away' something Sam wasn't supposed to see as it made Dean look less manly. Sam closed the laptop and put it away to recharge, he then took hold of Dean's feet and jerked them hard pulling his brother down with a rude thump to lie flat on the bed. Dean didn't wake despite his head bouncing on the springs once or twice he just stopped snoring and settled into his new position with ease. Sam watched him unsympathetically and roughly pulled the now empty bottle from his brothers hand, if only he could sleep that well. He took a quick shower, got into his own bed and fell into the deepest sleep he'd had in a very long time.

Ooo

Eight o'clock the next day and the angels are still working through the weapons in various combos. Cas is still alive.

Luckily angels don't sleep but they do tire and this was now tiring.

"Sharur! The smasher of thousands!" Cory announced "Known to have killed high ranking demons plus an early very powerful serpent God. It has won many wars during its time. The down side of course is it talks and is very opinionated"

"Fools!" The mace said (Sorry if this is insulting to any religion!) "I'm to be used in great battles betwixt good and evil not petty family disputes"

"We fight to save heaven this is a righteous cause for which we beseech your assistants" Cory reasoned

"No this is just another age old family dilemma being played out yet again" The magical mace sighed "Brother vs. brother, good vs. evil, what is right what is wrong? Yada yada" The mace said tediously. "Well guys you're in luck I'm going to cut straight to the chase and give you the answer you need to sort this all out nice and quick, its love, that's all you need to solve this and all disputes. Jesus even hinted at it I quote 'Love thy brother' ' Okay? Love and trying to love your family, it's the whole and only point to anything. You getting this?" The mace shouted at the blank faced angels, Cas included. "Love. That's all that there is to it; disappointing I know but there you have it and quite frankly isn't everything an utter disappointment these days. So I suggest you all just talk this over resolve it as best you can in a nice peaceful manner and move on"

"That doesn't help" Cory said confused "I need to save heaven, Castiel is a threat"

"I just went over this!" The mace said "You're the righteous son and he is the rebellious son. Good vs. Evil you have to learn to coexist or compromise. Forget this it has to be 'all or nothing' win scenario, that's bull crap. Whether it's over world domination or a slice of toast at a breakfast table all disagreements start with words and have to end in just the same way"

"But the threat of destruction is still there" Cory said still confused.

"Yes compromise is one of those grey areas but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Everything must be allowed to end at some point after all, and what is 'the end' if not a new beginning?"

"Unacceptable I am a guardian, a soldier" Cory snapped "Put the mace away its making my brain hurt. We need to wrap this up we have a universal boarder to protect from invasion. What's next?"

ooo

"Brahmasta? I didn't know we had that" Lucifer said in awe

"For good reason" Michael said shaking his head "I kept that well hidden, I can't believe they got it out for this. Of course that means these newbies have been going through all my stuff while I've been stuck in here"

"Heathens" Lucifer said smirking

"So what does this one do?" Meg asked bored, big guns were not her thing

"Comparable to a super massive nuke" Michael said glad someone other than the voiceless souls who couldn't see the screen was actually interested in his commentary "Unless used against a celestial being it is capable of destroying all creation. Hence I kept it hidden in my personal and very private room" He added bitterly

"Is Castiel still considered divine?" Crowley asked looking nervous, he knew Cas

"I'm not and I didn't kill near as many angels as he did" Lucifer said

"But you did corrupt a whole lot of them plus all of creation" Michael said in his 'holy'er than thou' voice

"I offered an apple of truth I didn't force anyone to take it, you make it sound so bad."

"Could this be the end of the planet?" Crowley said more insistent "Only I've a lot invested in this rock"

"Probably?" Michael said unsure

"Stop this!" Crowley snapped "I don't want to end today, not over this!"

"Aw" Michael sad unsympathetically to the demon "It'll be quick at least"

"And we've never had a chance to see this bad boy in action, come on aren't you just a little bit curious to see what it will be like?" Lucifer added

"No" Crowley switched the TV off "Stop this, stop this right now" he demanded

"Fine" Michael growled "I'll make sure Cas is still a celestial being then will you turn the TV back on and let us play with the weapon?"

"Yes?" Crowley said hesitantly

Michael made a great show of closing his eyes and touching his temple to show he was transmitting "Wait brothers!" He commanded

Everyone froze as it was Michael

"Castiel are you still a heavenly being?" Michael asked

"I guess?" Cas said not having ever thought to worry about this before

(Meg snuck over and turned the TV back on)

"Good then continue" Michael finished turning back to the screen to watch.

Cas gritted his teeth as Cory took aim, the super weapon Brahmaster began to glow a deadly shade of white.

Crowley however was glowing a deadly shade of red "Bloody angels" He said covering his face with his hands and waiting for the blast

The TV screen went white then blank as the blast destroyed the camera and the secret demon surveillance team with it.

All was silent.

After what seemed like an eternity Cas dared to open his eyes. Except for a few flattened trees (and was that demon smoke?) in the distance everything was unchanged. The grass was still green at his feet and the bugs although totally stunned were mostly unharmed which meant he had absorbed the blast and the earth was ok.

"Shit" Cory's voice barked as he noticed a few scorch marks on the green turf signifying that a few angels had been swept out of existence by the blast "Apparently they weren't as heavenly as I had expected"

"That's not my fault" Cas said quickly

"And in a way it is as we are all here because of you"

"You didn't have to fire that thing"

"Please just shut up" Cory sighed


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the positive reviews they are really really appreciated!

But I need info too! like is season 8 as bad/ angsty as my random clips suggest? I have found no comedy clips until larping and I'm seriously worried! That's half a season of woe and now I'm scared so any hope, info or spoilers you can offer please send this way!

Anyway still don't own.

0000

Sam was rudely awakened by Dean yawning like a wookie being skinned alive

"Dean! What the hell man?"

"About time come on Sammy breakfast's calling" Dean struggled to sleep for more than five hours at a time then struggled to oblige anyone who might be sleeping for another hour which meant no one around him got anything near the rest that they needed to operate on hence Sam's constant bitchy state.

Sam however had had a life time to get into the habit of working around this, and this morning hunger over ruled his anger "fine" he agreed as bitchily as he could which wasn't nearly enough to make Dean even notice how annoying he actually was _'Damn I really need food'_ Sam thought _'Even my powers of bitchyness are weak'_

An hour later and the boys were in a cheap diner waiting for their orders and setting up their next hunt. Sam pulled out his lap top while Dean pulled a paper off of a recently abandoned table to leaf through.

"So you bailed on me last night" Dean said looking hard at the cartoon strips "Want to talk"

"Uh" Sam hesitated; he'd actually forgotten about last night and felt weird that it hadn't bothered him more. Actually it was really weird that he hadn't investigated there and then why those demons had just vacated their hosts mid attack like that and (more importantly at least in his mind) that feeling of release he'd felt after as he walked away. What was that about and how could he get that again? He couldn't understand it himself so wasn't about to even try explaining it to Dean "Just went for a run ended up going a bit further than I expected to"

"Couldn't have been far off a marathon, you were gone hours, do we need to get you a tread mill? I mean if something happened how far..."

"Nothing happened Dean! It's you who has the track record for blundering into trouble not me, besides it would have to be a damn fast monster"

"Famous last words, now you're guaranteed to encounter a new species of homo weir-cheaters or something"

"Sounds like Thundercats has found its way into your strange little world of porno fantasy dude, is it too late to get you a shrink?"

"I'm just saying if you can at least stay within the state boundary flash, give me a chance of finding you if anything did happen that's all"

"Or you could come with, I'm sure there's enough homo weir freaks to go around"

"I'd gank their asses long before they got a chance to chase this tail man, but I'm being serious you Okay? I mean all this long haul running and a shed lode of crankyness on the drive up here yesterday is there anything on your mind I should know about?"

"No. You?"

"You know me, I'm fine"

"So you're totally okay with Cas heading off like that?"

"Cas just found hunting harder than he'd expected. I bet you anything he'll take one look at his dick family remember what total dicks they are then come right back"

Sam furrowed his brow and gave his brother a long hard look. He could tell Dean didn't truly believe it but hoped that that was how it was going to be. Sam wished now he'd not gotten so upset quite so quick. He was glad he hadn't said anything now. Dean was right Cas always came back, eventually.

"Point is" Dean continued ignoring Sam's scrutinizing stare "He's got to do this for himself we can't always tell him what to do or he'll never learn to think for himself"

"Yeah I guess" Sam agreed hating when his brother made sense.

Truth was however that Dean would hate for there to be a day when he didn't get to tell Cas or Sam what to do. He should have been an agony aunt with his abundance of good advice, he needed hopeless cases to drown with it all otherwise he'd never have time for his super macho monster fighting side to come out and play. And that would be sad because he was the meanest monster fighter ever he was sure.

The waitress rudely dropped their orders down on the table "Any refills with that?"

"Please" Sam answered

"I've a few tables to clear then I'll be right on it!" She said hurrying off.

"I think Cas needs to see that sometimes hunting isn't the hardest job in the world, or worst" Dean said noticing the waitresses blistered heels as she went.

Sam nodded agreement, he'd tried other jobs but nothing ever lasted "Still it can't be fun compared to being an angel. Maybe he'll even get back in"

"Yeah maybe" Dean said, though that thought scared him, it wasn't hunting that Cas had found hard it was the being human, which meant Cas would be trying very hard to get back into heaven right now. Dean tried not to think about that. "Wow Sam how many eggs went into that omelette?"

"A few, I'm real hungry after that... run"

"Man I'd better not be smelling those later"

"That's rich" Sam commented but noticed a story on his laptop about a freak lightning storm a out few miles from where they left yesterday "Angels?" Sam said turning the screen so Dean could see. There was a you tube clip attached, a grainy camera phone held up showed a peaceful blue sky , farm land as far as the eye could see and a new tractor being showcased by a proud owner. Suddenly in the distance fifteen or more strikes of brilliant white light lit up the sky seeming to hit ground behind a copse of trees in the distance.

"The picture's grainy but that could be angels" Sam said

"Maybe" Dean frowned preferring not to look

"Want to stick around a while longer?"

"We can't stand in the way of family Cas has to do what right for him here and dicks though they are they are his dicks. Let's just do what we do best" Dean said

"And what's that? Ignoring our own problems?" Sam said tucking into his omelette moodily

"Yes that and fighting monsters" Dean agreed without any conviction as he stabbed at some pancakes and bacon."Unless he calls of course"

"He'll be back"

"No one can resist us Winchesters that long"

'_Then why are we always sat alone in some seedy diner or motel room?'_ Sam thought as his levels of upset and anger started to raise again _'Man I could do with a good fight right about now'_

0000

"So we can't kill you" Cory said defeated "You are totally annoying in that respect"

"So what now?" Cas asked

"Now we will try plan B"

"Plan B?" Cas said with a hint of hope for forgiveness and reconciliation "What's that?"

"Plan B is you fall, become mortal and then we kill you"

Cas frowned hard at that "How will you find me?"

"We will kill all babies born in the next twelve month period, that way we can't miss you"

"That could work but I don't like the violence, I'm only at this point because of the amount of life already lost due to my actions; I can't agree to that"

"Plan C then. We force you to fall" three angels quickly flanked Cas blocking any escape. "Take him to 'astral point' and make sure he falls! Everyone else watch the skies we can't have his grace falling into the wrong hands"

Angels nodded and flew off to monitor the skies from every direction.

Oooo

"They're going to make him fall?" Michael said "Like a little re-enactment of our classic fight"

"Yes but nothing like as epic"

"No, they could never match that momentum, the fights we had leading up to that point, good times"

"Yeah" Lucifer said without such conviction

"Seems a bit drastic though, you know what with the mass slaughter of innocents afterwards" Michael said thoughtfully, he wasn't sure (being a dick) but he had an inkling God wouldn't approve somehow. "Perhaps we should get your demons to do the cleaning up? Otherwise us angels aren't going to look too angelic; I do hope they remember to pick up those holy weapons before they zap off..."

"That would be a no then" Lucifer said giving Crowley a meaningful wink

Crowley snapped his fingers and a few demons disappeared with big grins after the weapons

Of course Michael noticed all this he was in the same cage as Lucifer after all "Bloody angels" He cursed "Probably safer in your hands anyway"

"I'm actually inclined to agree with that" Crowley said.

0000

Three angels escorted to Cas to Astral point, a mythical plain twenty miles above the earth on the very outer edge of the atmosphere. It was cold, dark and icy cold. A wild dry wind tugged at the angels pulling them towards what looked like a hole in the thin wispy cloud of space dust on which they were standing. They all braced themselves against its pull as best they could but with no holds in this sterile place they all slipped ca little loser to the edge.

Castiel glimpsed the view below, it was spectacular. So spectacular that it almost drew you to it more than the damned stellar wind did "Didn't think it would be quite so beautiful" He commented "It's a lot higher than I imagined"

"Has to be for the burn of re entry to get hot enough to scorch your wings off and cook your grace into a crystal like structure" An angel called Steve commented

"That's going to hurt"

"For sure, but not for long. Now come on; I don't want to have to push you brother"

"I know it's just..." Cas' phone rang, it was Dean. That talk with Sam had made him worry Cas might be longer than his normal three or four episodes.

Cas thought about answering but knew that his usual answer (I'm fine)to Dean's inevitable question really wouldn't cut it, not today. The phone was suddenly blown out of his hand as the wind went from mere gale to super hurricane force pushing the angels to the floor. They all scrabbled helplessly to keep from sliding over the looming edge.

After five minutes the wind finally subsided enough for them to stand again

"Shit" muttered Steve as he noticed one of them was missing "Must have fallen over the edge, he absolutely hates humans too"

"No matter" Another angel said "He will inevitably end up dead anyway with the infanticide to come. Now enough of this" He said turning to Cas "You have just cost us the life of yet another angel do the decent thing and jump already!"

Cas stood solemnly at the edge his phone was gone so he tried reaching out to Dean angel style to say good bye "Dean I..."

"Enough with the dramatics!" Steve said and with a nod to his buddy they went to push Cas over. The wispy cloudy edge was not as stable as it looked however and all three angels ended up falling.

0000

Dean was outside the diner. He'd snuck out to call Cas while Sam had taken a toilet break. He didn't want to upset the already over emotional Sammy of any more than he had to was the reason for keeping this hush hush. The phone rang twice then abruptly stopped mid ring. "Strange"

He tried dialling again but this time it didn't even connect.

Sam spotted his brother outside and guessed they were headed out he picked up the abandoned laptop and left a few bills on the table before catching him up. "Got a plan?" He asked as he approached.

Dean was looking at his phone and turning quite green

"Whoa!" Sam reached out to steady his brother "You ok?"

Dean felt like he was falling. He hated flying he really hated falling. The sensation was so strong. Then it was gone "Uh, I um" He struggled to explain as his vision started to black out and a giddy sensation threatened to overwhelm him. He looked up as that was the best thing to do when blacking out and sure enough his vision started clearing "Holy shit storm"

Sam looked up and saw fine three white lines streak across the sky. Had it been night they would have been beautiful but it was midmorning which meant they were extremely bright and far too close.

"comet?" Sam asked he didn't know why Dean was as thick as shit on these things

"I guess"

As the boys watched the lights turned red and flame like as they started to fizzle out and lose momentum. Two faded out completely but the third looked destined impact.

"Hope so, I hate aliens and their aliases" Dean muttered feeling shaken but better.

"Guess we're headed that way then" Sam said all enthusiastic perhaps there'd even be some monsters to fight.

"You kidding?" Dean choked, had Sam forgotten his hate of aliens? "It's going to be like Canada where that hits"

"No it was lower than that come on we could catch it up in a few days I bet" Sam said

"There has got to be a hunter closer is what I'm saying and it's probably just moon rock anyway. Let's just see if we can't find a case a bit more local before we get too hysterical about any possible alien shit"

Sam looked disappointed but agreed

0000

Crowley guessed the earth had survived nuclear fallout by now. He waited patiently for more news from the angels

Inside the cage Michael and Lucifer suddenly stumbled as they both lost their balance for no apparent reason.

"What's happening?" Crowley demanded, his captives were going a horrible shade of white

"Castiel just broadcast the horrible sensation that hits the stomach when you jump" Michael said shocked "I didn't know you could do that, send feelings!"

"Oh yeah you can send anything these days. Cas is still relatively new to this so it's all less calculated and more random than anything me and Gabriel used to do" Lucifer said recovering himself quicker than his brother, of course he would he'd witnessed falling first hand before

"Images?" Michael asked "Like what?"

"Nothing interesting just him walking around looking lost and horribly dirty, must have something to do with his developing over emotional state. Now I always stayed relatively local when I did images so the effect was far stronger..."

"So why can't I do that?"

"Your emotionally retarded Michael, even amongst us emotionless bastards you're considered painstakingly restrained. You of all angels will never be able to do that words are your limit"

"And you're an emotional mess, so how come you've never done that before?"

"I can't believe how little you actually listen to me I've tormented the crap out of hundreds of humans with that little trick"

"Oh humans, so you can only do it on weaker more messed up minds than your own"

"Well yes the Winchesters are always great to play with particularly Sam; but I've done some other stuff too"

"Like what?"

"Ah that would be telling, and shouldn't we be listening for Castiel's finale demise? Can't be too long now"

Hey both fell silent and patiently waited for some good news.

0000

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you! I'm now an avid reader of the crossroads forum! Big sigh of relief.

Of course I still own nothing... and super sorry for the bad language used in this chap and any mistakes as I've rushed through it a bit.

0000

From his vantage point Cory watched the angels decent. Suddenly everyone in his command including himself felt sick, very sick like they were the ones falling.

"Why would anyone transmit something like that?" One angel asked quite horrified

"Maybe he wants to make us feel guilty?" Another replied

"Well that's not going to happen, emotions are for the weak" Cory stated. If he'd bothered to look around however he'd have noticed a few angels looking like they might have been feeling really bad right now. A few fidgeted uncomfortably and a few more disappeared completely.

Cory was too distracted by the case in hand which was even now not going quite too plan "Shit" He muttered for the up teeth time today "Nothing should survive the cleansing fires of re-entry" He said watching the angelic comets rapid decent, "we had better investigate"

0000

Michael and Lucifer were still standing silently.

"So?" Crowley asked impatient for more news "What's happening?"

"Wait" Michael snapped anxious to hear if the fall had been successful

"Any minute now there's going to be a mass infanticide the likes of which the world hasn't seen in ages" Lucifer said smirking, "this is getting so good"

"That's sick" Crowley scowled, he liked babies, he'd even been one once.

"How did you ever get to be king of hell?" Lucifer sighed "You're supposed to love cruelty and torture"

"I do, but there's a time and a place and these are babies we're talking about"

"No" Lucifer said as if speaking to a young uneducated child "We take great pleasure in torture at any given opportunity and not just to monsters, or Winchesters but to innocent mankind in general at every stage of life"

"I deal more with the running and admin side of things" Crowley muttered a bit sad for disappointing his father (? creator?) "It's still evil work"

"And you should see the parts he's managed so far" Meg said from where she sat by the TV screen watching day time rubbish "It's like a picture postcard from Blighty out there; all the pretty little souls politely cueing in orderly little lines. It's about as scary as customs without the threat of a strip search; pathetic"

"It's efficient" Crowley snapped "What with those Winchesters killing off my demons at any given opportunity we are getting seriously low on numbers, so less torture as there are currently so many errands to run, and physical work? Please, what's the point of being king if you can't delegate, I attend the important bits, enjoyable bits... when I can"

"Yeah in your white pinny and marigolds" Meg muttered "you look like that mad chef off of the Muppets"

'_Imagine if he was in control when Milton felt inspired to write his paradise lost' _Michael smirked

'_It would have read more like Monty pythons 'life of Brian'' _Lucifer transmitted only to find his brother staring blankly back at him '_That is it would have read like a satirical comedy, I was so proud of my little hell once'_

'_In a way like you spoilt father's creation, he has spoilt yours' _

'_But unlike father I can't bugger off out of here' _Lucifer sighedas he turned to address his most disappointing minion to date "So it all comes down to a shortage of staff then Crowley?" Lucifer said trying to look sympathetic "Let me out and I will create lot's more demons..."

"Let you out and you'll destroy lots more demons, I remember the last time"

"A necessary evil"

"And what isn't with you?"

Michael suddenly heard angelic voices transmitting over the A R again "Shh!" He hissed "I think I heard something" Everyone quietened "I think, good god but the reception is bad down here and it's very a weak signal but I think Castiel is still alive"

Lucifer's smile faded and he hastily listened in

"Ow, those stupid dick f-ks! How can my f-g family be such complete f- r-d f- w=== b======s and still live with themselves" Castiel transmitted from a blackened crater in a hill side far far away

"He's alive" Lucifer exclaimed

Meg grinned her all knowing grin

0000

Cas lay huddled at the bottom of a crater. He was too cooked to move. His charred body was as black as the burnt earth around him where he had impacted causing an earth quake big enough to level all surrounding farm buildings for a mile. After a very long rant of profanities he realised how weak he felt and finally thought "_Shit_" before passing out.

When he woke there was a gathering of people holding camera phones above him. He tried to move but found nothing wanted to work yet. Still he couldn't stay here those people would start to poke around before long. He forced himself to sit up. He noticed first that his cloths were missing then his hands. They had been completely burnt off and had yet to recover. He took a better look at himself as his eyes had now started to heal, his skin looked more like charcoal and his wings were missing completely so no disappearing. He would have to walk out of this. His muscles were also healing bright red and raw; they contrasted with his black charcoal skin giving him a very alien look as he began to pull himself up. He stumbled and found his foot was also missing, this day just couldn't get any worse. Cas let out a long exasperated sigh from his hot smoky lungs. A plume of dry ash flew out from a cavity under his exposed collar bone as his throat was still missing. He felt like crap as he started stumbling his way out.

He didn't bother to regard the excited crowd, there was nothing he could do about avoiding them anyway so he staggered on. He didn't know where he was going but that didn't matter as angels in human vessels suddenly appeared beside him and zapped him out of there.

0000

Cas reappeared at heaven's gate, an abandoned shabby factory unit.

"What happened?" Cory demanded

"_I survived"_ Cas transmitted as he was still missing much of his face.

"Where are the others?"

"_We were all blown over the edge"_

"Uh oh"

"Isn't that part of the ninety nine seals to unlocking heaven?" a lower angel asked

"Yes the fall of three angels simultaneously just happens to be one of the ninety nine seals that hold heavens gates closed" Cory sighed "Can this day get any worse?"

"Does it count if Castiel survived?"

"Actually" Castiel spoke as his head was now piecing itself back together "There was four of us in total one guy, I forget his name, fell about a minute before the rest of us"

"Call off the child killing" Cory ordered solemnly "Damn it, Steve hates humans as well"

"What do we do now?" The back ground angels asked

"We take Castiel to heavens jail and think of a new plan" Cory instructed

0000

"Their taking him to heaven, we have a jail there" Michael informed Crowley "If you could forget about the baby killing stuff mentioned earlier?"

"Good" Crowley said relieved

"Indeed" Lucifer agreed "Every angel that encounters Cas ends up dead, imagine the impact he's going to have back home, hope it goes exactly like the last time"

"No, that's not good?" Michael said unsure "We have to do something, don't we?"

"It's totally out of your hands Mike stop pretending to care all ready!"

"But the power distribution up there, I'm getting an ominous feeling about this"

"What about power distribution?" Crowley asked stalking nearer as he was plain nosey "Is that to do with the ninety nine seals? Are we talking about opening heavens gates?"

"The ninety nine seals are there to keep heavens gates closed to anyone but angels; and God if..."

'_Ah I haven't told them he's missing!' _Lucifer quickly transmitted to Michael

"Of, I mean and God _**of**_course that is if he were to decide to leave or anything" Michael quickly corrected himself "There was a time you see when all sorts of other god's and would be gods wanted in as there's a wealth of power up there" He indicated toward heaven "Power that..."

"Yes okay so seals go, gates open and there's a free for all on the heavenly power" Crowley said hurrying through the painfully obvious "So what was that bit about distribution?"

"Did I say that?"

"Yes Michael you did say that out loud" Lucifer said _'Moron! Now you had better explain as this demon is a devil for the details"_

"Okay" Michael said looking sheepish "Well we angels were created to protect God's creation"

Crowley shot Michael a glare he'd learnt straight from Castiel and Meg rolled her eyes so hard it hurt.

"Hard to believe some days I know" Michael said looking still more embarrassed "Anyway, heavens power is becoming far more concentrated. The few of us that are left are all becoming vastly stronger so we can continue to do all the work required of the angels"

"So fewer of you there are, the more powerful you each become" Crowley said slowly hoping he was wrong on this

"Like highlander" Lucifer added to help explain

"Highlander?" Michael asked confused "What's that?"

"Honestly? You're missing the best part of humanity if you don't watch TV" Lucifer sighed "And it's where I've invested the largest part of my time too. Do you know I'm actually insulted that it's been totally missed by everyone up stairs, especially as you're all so perfectly positioned for optimum satellite reception, there's really no excuse other than sheer ignorance"

"I spend my time doing my job" Michael muttered

"Please back to explaining; so you're all becoming ever more powerful" Crowley said calling on all his patience "So?"

"So obviously power corrupts" Lucifer said surprising Michael

"And too much of it will cause all the angels to fall" Michael said darkly, but not darkly enough as he was still too surprised with his brother.

"So ...a baby boom?" Crowley said not seeing the need for the dark tone to Michael's voice

"No, not fall as in get born as humans but fall into madness" Michael said looking at Lucifer "like uh..."

Lucifer gave Michael a withering glare "Pick your words wisely here brother or we can start that eternal fighting again"

"What exactly is the difference?" Crowley asked seeing what Michael was hinting at "All the angels we have encountered so far Zachariah, Uriel, Balthazar

"Hester" Meg added

"Have all been pretty much ...unbalanced? Deranged?... no that's far too reserved, there really is no escaping it, evil. They've all been pretty damn bloody evil up till now" Crowley said with no effort to hide his distaste for anything remotely angelic any more.

"Well yes" Michael agreed "but evil with a certain intent... um justification; even if it was only in their own eyes this will make them more like Lucifer here, complete bastards"

"I prefer misunderstood!"

"Complete misunderstood bastards" Michael corrected himself "And yes with fewer seals and no heavenly father to give us instruction angels have been getting worse lately you're right"

"So that's the problem I wondered why Castiel survived so long declaring himself God"

'_Well done Michael, now watch this little up start destroy all our chances for a bloody apocalypse. Look at the smarmy bastard grinning his smarmy cock sure smile at us, i bet you anything he's thinking of a way to make himself king of heaven right now" _

'_The angels would stop him'_

'_He's the one bloody demon to survive the Winchester's still intact'_

'_He doesn't look that though'_

'_No' _Lucifer agreed_, 'But then average is the new anti hero these days. Gone are the super soldier's like Schwarzenegger or Stallone, men who you could believe would kick ass; now it's all about brains" _Lucifer looked at Michaels blank expression_, "Good god just get a TV set and get educated already you utterly uncultured Neanderthal'_

'_Why can't you just use the traditional biblical examples to make your point with? Those I understand'_

'_Next time I want to refer to something or indeed someone as totally out dated I will, but for this there are no bloody examples, no good ones anyway'_

"Ahem" Crowley coughed after some thought he was ready for more question time and the angels stare down didn't look likely to end anytime soon without interruption "None of these angels pose quite the same threat right now as one of you two would; so couldn't we just kill them?"

Michael turned his threatening glare to the demon and suddenly the cage didn't seem secure enough for Crowley's comfort "No one kills my brothers... other than... my brothers; and it's through killing them that we are creating this problem in the first place"

"As if you guys needed any help in that department anyway" Meg said "But really why not just have a new god and be done with it? Wouldn't everything settle back to business as usual?"

"That will take ages, as soon as we get down to the last hundred angels each will be as powerful as we are. Just think it only takes two to create a lot of destruction; a hundred self righteous bastards would be total annihilation"

'_Keep scaring him Michael and he might let us out to defend Hell and his beloved earth from heaven'_

'_I'm_ _only telling him the truth here Lucifer how can I make that any worse?' _Michael thought back butcarried on with the doom andgloom anyway as he was on a roll"Like Lucifer each angel will be capable of creating an army of improved humans to loyally fight their cause, they'll rip the earth various other dimensions and the human population to shreds without really thinking about it just to decide who's the better leader"

"So what should I be doing to stop or maybe take advantage of this?" Crowley said still confused, he was sure there was some silver lining some window of opportunity here that he was missing.

"You do nothing this is between angels" Michael snapped

"But I already have my own dimensional strong hold, an army of demons; albeit a small one and some ambition. If I get in here soon enough I could..."

"You'll soon be dealing with far more powerful beings than you can imagine" Michael warned

'_Reiterate it once more for him; but slower with much more repetition and emphasis on the 'we're all going to die!' bits. Come on your good at that' _Lucifer transmitted to Michael

'_Oh so now old fashioned is okay' _Michael snapped "Let us out and we will fix this" Michael said with a commanding voice "We will stop the destruction, bring back balance and order to the heavens. Angels only need one true right and one true wrong to follow and we (indicating to himself and Lucifer) are the perfect examples of each"

"Really?" Crowley said "I'm going to need time to consider this. How many angels are there now?"

"Castiel killed thousands in a day last time he went home so what does it truly matter?" Lucifer said impatient

"Shit" Crowley muttered

"Let us out" Michael said again but slower this time much to Lucifer's approval "I can't have my father's greatest creation going to ruin over childish disputes"

"No you'll do the whole apocalypse thing and end it all your way"

Michael looked a bit guilty at that "It's the best way"

"Then just let me out" Lucifer said quickly "I'll create more demons than ever and we will destroy all other angels and gods or whatever and we will create the perfect world no good no evil and no Winchesters"

"And then you'll destroy us demons" Crowley said thoughtfully "I'm screwed either way"

"How about we seal the gates to heaven and lock em all in?" Meg said looking up from where she sat by the TV, "Yeah that's right brains as well as beauty here; you dicks can fight all you like on your own astral plane with no harm done to us then if a new God does emerge the doors will still be shut so no problem" Meg leaned back the picture of total smugness to watch her idea take its hold on the three men before revealing the best part of her plan "We could even convince Sam and Dean to do it all for us, they would go loopy loo for a chance to play white knight saving Cas from his oppressive brothers and the tyranny of heaven by sealing those gates shut to protect him"

"That sounds too simple" Crowley growled

"Getting into heaven to pull Castiel out of jail impossible even for them" Michael muttered

"Those boys are extremely talented at achieving the absolute impossible and naturally stupid, so let's use this too our advantage" Meg said with a self righteous grin.

"Meg you just may be on to something, nothing is beyond the Winchesters we just got to convince them it's the only way" Crowley said thoughtfully "But they get Castiel out and they will have a powerful weapon on their side plus he'll tell them the whole down side to sealing the gates"

"Is there one?" Meg asked "We did ok for the last two thousand years without angels walking the earth or God taking an interest"

"All the wars?" Michael said with some disbelief "Plagues, small claims solicitors?"

"You're right we did Okay" Crowley agreed "Life has been getting easier and sweeter down here"

"The Winchesters won't see it that way, at least Dean who's very much like me, but with a terrible tendency to cheat, might not" Michael warned

"If he knew the replacement god was going to be any one of you guys he would" Meg smiled

"True" Everyone agreed.

0000

"Wait here" Cory said to Castiel indicating to an empty white cell half way down a white corridor of identical cells "We will return once we have decided your, uh, next fate"

Cas sat down on the one piece of furniture available, a white bench, and began to feel bored. He had taken these attempted executions to heart and he found his thoughts were turning increasingly morbid. He didn't want his possible last hours alive to be wasted on morbid stuff so he turned his thoughts instead to the good times he had with Sam and Dean. Sitting in that horribly confined car that they called home and listening to music.

These were his favourite memories where he could just listen as Sam and Dean enforced their own musical tastes on him complete with explanation as to why this was the best choice or why the other was so completely wrong. If one slept then whole albums were played, the same albums as they didn't carry many and Sam's often got hurled out the window so less variety than you can imagine or even tolerate for hours at a time.

Actually these memories weren't that good and Cas wondered why he held them so dear but thinking over the songs now was soothing compared to being killed unsuccessfully by ones brothers; so Cas closed his eyes and replayed those seven albums while he imagined the road and the bickering (and sometimes the violence) that went with them.

Not that he felt sadness but if he could he would have been feeling very sad right now at the thought that hadn't said a decent good bye to his friends, or formed a musical taste of his own so to participate more in these family moments. This emotion, or want of one as this was an appropriate time to have one, caused Cas' thoughts of music to flow through AR; the same seven albums repeated for hours just like they would if he was with his friends now. Heavens angels were accustomed to hearing constant chanting, creepy whispers and choir music of praise but the same Led zeppelin albums for hours and then hours again? This was different.

Like Dean when Cas reached the last song on the last album he went back to the first and listened again and again. He was transfixed on spending his last few hours where he felt happiest. These hours stretched out long and slow, just like with they did with Sam and Dean; Cas smiled. Other angels didn't, some screamed uncontrollably after just the fifth round, some prayed for deafness, others ran and hid turning off their AR completely and trembling in peaceful corners where the noise couldn't get to them.

Cory found he was alone in trying to sort out Castiels demise. This was going to be a slow process.


	6. Chapter 6

The cage, Michael and Lucifer monitor the unfolding chaos in heaven via AR

'_We have to get Castiel out of there Lucifer, he's thinking'_

Lucifer listened in_ 'It's only rock music Michael relax' _

'_No' Michael snapped taking offence to his brothers apparent mocking of the situation, but then Lucifer never did take anything seriously enough 'He's dissecting the words looking for hidden meaning'_

'_There is none. It's all just random words fitted very, very poorly to music'_

'_Maybe Dean's play list is, but Sam's...'_

'_Oh shit' Lucifer gasped 'He's relating it to religion and finding inspirational soul defining crap in there, why would anyone do that?'_

'_Finally you realise the gravity of the situation. We have got to get Castiel out of there; before the other angels start seeking lines to relate their lives to'_

'_Agreed, but Crowley and Meg are still hammering out the details of their plan, demon brains are so small and bloody slow'_

'_I'll have to buy us all some time' Michael quickly thought of a plan 'Cory?' He called over his AR 'Move prisoner 101 to the cell next to Castiels now!'_

_0000_

In heavens jail Cas stopped his painful dissection of survivors eye of the tiger to observe as a new prisoner was being deposited in the cell next door to him.

"Anna?" Cas said unable to hide his surprise "Didn't Michael kill you?"

"Technically yes" Anna replied "But I was once mortal so I had acquired a soul which went to heaven. Obviously I must have done some truly good deeds while alive brother so stop glaring at me already it's not going to get me re-judged anytime soon. Anyway Michael felt just as pissed as you about it all and stuck my soul in here, so this is my spirit in heaven" she said gestureing to the small jail cell "Great huh?"

"Well there's worse fates I guess, can't believe you're here and not in one of them"

"Thanks. So anyway how are you? Eh, still pissed, you're never going to let that go are you?"

"You slept with my best friend Anna, then set out to destroy his entire family despite the fact that he wanted so much to save you"

"Which bit pisses you off the most?"

"The hypocrisy, you fell to gain your own free will but then denied it to others. I thought you were going to be better than that, better than all of us. Once a dick always a dick though I guess"

"Hey that goes for you to Mr. Godstiel, like you I had a 'quick fix plan' which you would have totally agreed with had it not involved your humans. If I'm a dick than you're a dick too; just like everyone else up here"

"There's no getting away from it is there, we totally are"

"It seems to be deep rooted into the very core of our nature. But let's not be too hard on ourselves most humans are dicks too"

"Hmm, that's not much consolation. What was it like growing up human?"

"Well not wanting to boast or anything but until I hit that mental institute it was bloody awesome..."

0000

"_Ah she talks forever good move brother" _Lucifer said relieved_.' What with the harry Potter, Twilight, fashion fads and her infatuation with that one direction she will soon be lulling Cas to sleep" _

"_No her life was boring and limited Castiel is already beginning to block her out and think of other things we still need to act fast_" Michael said privately to Lucifer before turning to address Crowley and Meg who were indeed arguing over specifics "Excuse me hell spawn, but how exactly can we hurry this along?"

"Well here's the problem" Crowley explained "For Sam and Dean to do this we need a bait, but if they actually recue Cas they become too bloody powerful. I can't bump them off. In fact no one can and it's very annoying to say the least especially as they work best under pressure so keeping them on their toes is to everyone's advantage here"

"I see and we need the chaos in heaven ended sooner rather than later plus I don't want those boys hanging around any longer than required they've hindered my plans enough. I'll help you in this demon but you have to act quickly Castiels already scrambling the brains of the entire heavenly host with some god awful type of supposed rock music"

"Rock music?" Crowley asked "It's not that bad. Don't point the finger of blame so flippantly, either your crew have their doubts or they don't"

"Actually" Lucifer mumbled "The dreamy, self righteous, poetical drivel Sam calls music is pretty much evil in its purest form. It's constantly used by miserable whiners as a tool to influence the masses with. I knew I went too far letting a few of those bloody bands get signed"

"Yes hind sight is a truly wonderful thing brother; we can discuss this at length at a later date but now back to solving our current problem" Michael said in his normal flat commanding tone as he progressed to explain his plan to Crowley. "Now how to explain this, angels in essence are waves of light energy, a lot of power but no real substance hence the need for a vessel to operate in on this plain..."

"Yes I know this" Crowley sighed as Michael's all commanding tone was really grating. Especially so as his vessel looked all of 21 so came across as exceptionally snotty "God no wonder you left!"

"No Crowley" Michael said angry at the interruption "You need to listen as I explain this otherwise none of this will make any sense later, okay?"

Crowley nodded in defeat while reaching for more drink

"Okay" Michael continued "if separated from our vessel we can be contained or trapped in certain special diamonds, ones containing enough crystallised inward facing carbon surfaces to produce an eternal, internal reflection effect; like a house of mirrors if you will. Our light is absorbed and we are in effect lost in a world which is seemingly never ending space; like the super nova from which these diamonds were formed. These are known as grace stones. Get Castiel to go in one of these and he will never find his way out. Sam and Dean will have saved him but won't be able to utilise him. We or you can safely eradicate them all at a later date"

"Why then did God create hell?" Crowley said looking sceptical "Why create a whole new dimension to contain Lucifer in if all he needed was a simple rock?"

"Hell is not just for Lucifer" Michael ever patiently explained "but for all the souls which accompanied him on his downward plight. We needed endless space as evil is seemingly endless, despite all the forewarnings of the horrors that await"

"The queues" Meg corrected "If you look at those souls all staring at their mobiles you, and probably they don't even know that they're dead let alone in hell"

"Perhaps more thought is needed on that" Michael muttered "It actually sounds better than some peoples version of heaven"

"Okay enough nit picking and back to the plan" Crowley said "What's to stop the other angels from doing all this? Why involve me at all?"

"They will be looking to do the same" Michael said "But they have to find a diamond and a human or something to do it for them as if the diamond absorbs light there's always a chance that it will absorb them or part of their power into it too"

"Jewellery shop and a priest easy"

"No it can't be a cut diamond the carbon crystals all have to remain intact and man has already mined most diamonds close to the surface so they'll have to dig deep to find a usable one. Plus another angel could utilise this power holding this grace stone could be like holding a very powerful battery and there is not one newbie angel up there that I like or trust enough to hold double the power he already has" Michael said darkly

"You need to be the one in control" Crowley said "Even down here"

"Yes, he does. Always" Lucifer said bitterly

"I'm oldest It's my responsibility" Michael said by way of excuse

"So let's say I trust you on this" Crowley said eyeing up the shifty pair of angels "Where exactly am I going to get one of these diamonds before the bloody angels?"

"I am telling you all this because I have one" Michael answered

"Let me guess in your room" Crowley sighed

"Not anymore" Lucifer muttered

"What ?" Michael snapped

"I took it years ago" Lucifer confessed "You were going to use it on me"

"Only if I lost..."

"Ha! And there we have it!" Lucifer said triumphant

"I thought it would keep you from getting cast out, I thought I could keep you safe till uh..."

"Till I saw things your way? Yeah well that's why I nicked it, score one for free will right there brother"

"So where is it now?" Crowley asked

"In a plastic crown buried deep in a landfill in Florida here's the coordinates" Lucifer smirked wider if that was indeed possible

Crowley was running out of runners but found a few new recruits from his endless queuing system to turn into demons and retrieve the plastic toy. They returned instantly with a rough diamond about the size of a quarter glued painfully to a cheap tarnished crown.

"You have to go do this right now!" Michael warned the demon "The farfetched religious journey debate going on right now in heaven is spreading like a plague through the angels minds causing all sorts of questions and doubts"

"Great we haven't got any semblance of a sodding yet plan" Crowley moaned

"Give me the rock I can do this" Meg said without looking up from where she quietly sat in front of the TV.

"You? How?" Crowley snapped

"Fingers in every pie remember? That plus smarts" Meg sighed grabbing the diamond out of the plastic crown and walking out.

"Wait I need to know exactly _how_ you are going to do this, and whose side you're really on" Crowley shouted as he followed her out leaving the angels alone in the cage with the TV.

'_She'll get this done properly' _Lucifer said to Michael_ 'She is loyal to me and very dependable, unlike Crowley. Now in the mean time how about you and me get acquainted with the magic of reality TV?'_

"_Well what with everything being out of our hands now yes why not, indulge me' _They sat down to watch some strangely occupying human affairs which Meg had randomly left on, it was a great break from all their own family problems of late.

0000

"I knew we should have checked out that meteor" Sam said pissed, he was on face book and fellow hunters had posted some stuff on likely cases to be followed including... he presented Dean the laptop with full on bitch face glare and pissy attitude "Look Dean alien footage actual alien footage! Too bloody far, we've driven further to eat pie before now so now Tom's teams got the bloody case"

"Well shit me!" Dean gasped staring at the dodgy camera phone clip; a black skeletal figure walks zombie like out of a black smoking crater and past the camera. The picture wobbles drastically as it pans around to follow the alien creature then two men appear, another wobble as the phone operator jumps in surprise then there is nothing but a very mystified crowd staring at thin air till the camera finally drops.

Sam and Dean exchanged a bewildered look "What would angels want with aliens?"

Suddenly there was a loud bang at their motel door, Sam picked up his gun before slowly edging his way over to investigate. He glanced back over to Dean who had grabbed an assortment of weapons before deciding on the knife, he nodded 'ready' back to Sam who slowly opened the door.

"Boys!" Meg said storming into the motel room ignoring the gun pointed at her back and the demon knife Dean brandished in her face

"How'd you find us?" Dean asked relaxing his grip on the demon knife, but only a little.

"Questions questions boys, can't we just gloss over that stuff and get to the point of why I'm here because it's actually way more important?" Meg took in the duel looks of extra pissy "No? You still don't trust me huh? Fine then... Cas zapped me here, he's in trouble again. Ah but I see that you're already on the case! You're finally getting quicker, who'd have believed?"

Both Sam and Dean looked blankly at each other then back at her.

Meg let out a long exasperated sigh "And maybe not. Well" She said pointing to the laptop screen "As you can see here we have ourselves an over cooked angel problem"

"WE What?" Dean said looking at her confused

"That" Meg said still pointing at the laptop "Is what's left of Castiel. His return to heaven isn't going too well; he jumped to try and escape his brothers and well failed so now they've drug him back and put him in jail where he awaits further torture. We need to get him out"

"And you know all this how?" Sam said suspiciously, he had dropped the gun as that was useless on a demon but he looked like he was ready for a fight to prove her wrong on this "It's only been like a day since we last saw Cas how can he be in that much trouble already?"

"No wait" Dean said "Cas said he was like..." Dean really struggled with emotions, even talking about other people's emotions was painful, he needed a lot more alcohol for this, bravely he pushed on to explain "He said he was sad, like really sad and angels hate emotions and crap so maybe..."

"What? When?" Sam said shocked "He helped solve the Fred Jones case we patted him on the back I thought we were all good, why didn't you say something?"

"Well I thought he was good by then too" Dean explained "But before all that, while you were taking so long at the library, I ran out of stuff to look at on line so me and Cas we talked"

"You talked!"

"Yes"

"About feelings?" Sam said confirming his worst fear

"Yeah" Dean said reading into the misplaced concern written all over his brothers face "Relax man, I didn't quote Michael Caine or nothing which let me tell you was a tragic missed opportunity, I even had a tissue box to hand, I mean how often does that happen?"

"Shit, it must have been serious" Sam said running a hand through his extensively long hair "So what did you say? Here drink this? Because come on Dean what do you seriously know about anything"

"Cas came to me okay, so I must be better than you jerk"

"Just tell me exactly happened?"

"He told me he wasn't alright that he was like depressed because of all the shit he caused and then you barged in and he acted really different like it never happened"

"Why didn't you tell me about this before now?"

"Because I really didn't want it to be true I guess. Maybe I hoped he was copying my morbid feelings of late, you know his monkey see monkey do predisposition"

"Wow" Meg sighed "Who needs TV with all the loaded drama in here"

Sam suddenly turned on Meg "And why do you even care?" he snapped like it was suddenly all her fault

"Hey I love Cas too don't I" She said, it was her worst bit of acting to date

"No" Sam corrected her "you confessed that you were planning on using him"

"Yeah I was" She admitted "But what can I say, absents makes the heart grow fonder so now its love he's infectious, grows on you, so now I uh, like him"

"Where have you been all this time?" Sam said looming over the demon as she backed away from him

"Back off princess I have my own agendas that's no secret" Meg snapped back "But right now we have to do this"

"How?" Dean said getting between Sam and Meg as Sam looked ready to kill "Our last trip up stairs required a one way bullet ticket. Then there's Heaven's jail, this is going to be tricky"

"I know" Meg said quite serious "So I thought we could summon Cas out, well you could I can't summon an angel especially not from heaven. Then I can help you hide him but when the angels realise you've nicked heavens most wanted they are going to be gunning for you and you'll be on your own"

"That was shit the first time round" Dean commented remembering the trials he'd gone through, he winced slightly at the past and future emotional torture the angels had hit him with, that and all the super imaginative physical torture and the beating, wait that was Cas... "That was really frickin' shit the first time around" Dean muttered

"But family right?" Meg said reading all the pain in Deans eyes "It's all about family with you guys so you'll do it right"

"We're not afraid of heaven, bring it on" Sam growled defiant.

"Wo there Sam picking a fight with the whole of heaven?" Meg said astonished "Bit angry, aren't we?"

"Just saying" Sam grumbled

"Regardless wed do it if we liked it or not" Dean said giving Sam an awkward look, he was really pissy lately; it was probably about time they talked or avoided talking or something.

"Then pack your bags because you're going to be on the run for quite some time after this. Unless you can figure a way to stop the whole of heaven in its tracks that is" Meg said as she walked out to wait for them by the impala.

"I don't trust her Dean, we can do this without her"

"Yeah she makes my skin crawl too Sammy but I'd rather keep her where I can see her for now till we figure her angle on all this"

"True" Sam nodded calming his bitchy glare after the demon "You should have told me"

"Yeah I know, listen next time me and Cas do anything remotely like that again I promise we will make it a threesome and you can give us both your two cents of text book mumbo okay? Maybe you could even tell us what's behind the temper"

"We wouldn't have time after your self-pitying guilt trip problems of late, don't think I don't notice" Sam said handing Dean the box of tissues from the night stand "Is there enough in there?"

"Hilarious, come on lets go kick this bloody heavenly hornets' nest already"

0000


	7. Chapter 7

Don't own a thing

0000000

After picking up a few essential ingredients Sam and Dean, under Meg's instruction, drive for hours out of town. At first they followed the highway but soon the roads became smaller and obviously less travelled. After an hour of dirt track kicking up dust all over Dean's precious Baby, Meg advised they turn right onto what looked like nothing more than a dry river bed.

"Do you even care what this is doing to my suspension?" Dean snapped agitated "Where the hell are we even going?"

"Heavens gates" Meg announced as if it were the fun'est place on earth

"What? We can do that?" Sam asked astonished

"And can't heaven build a better road or was it intended to only be approached by freekin' donkey"

"The road gets better after the next turn, see" Meg said "Man you boys and your precious toys"

The road indeed became tarmac again, it was however old cracked and patchy tarmac at best "Only compared to that can this be described as better" Dean growled as he wavered between which potholes to drive through, there was no going around not when there was this many. The atmosphere in the car became very tense and very heated over the driver's side of the car.

Meg shuffled along the back seat to sit behind Sam lest she get burnt. Just then she saw some derelict buildings peeking through the unkept greenery up a head "We're here!" She said over the deep growl of the engine, at least she had thought it was the engine.

Sam knew the distinct sound of his brother's teeth grinding better than anyone and knew that ignoring it was the best policy if they wanted to get on with the mission rather than sit fretting under the car for yet another afternoon. Sam tried to worm some more info out of Meg to help focus the team "And what exactly are we doing here? I mean surely we can't physically enter heaven, can we?" He said turning back to glance at Meg

"This is all part of my genius plan boys, just let's not think or say too much as these angels hear everything hence why I've told you nothing. Now stop here, that's the building we're after" She said indicating towards a shabby unit "Heavens gates"

"Heavens gates?" Sam said unable to hide his disappointed kicked puppy face as Dean pulled up "It's a dirty old factory" he whined "We spend a lot of time trying to avoid hell only to find the alternative is an over hyped shabby dump"

"I'll ask them to tidy up a bit after you guys have split" Meg said sarcastically "Maybe throw in some pearly wrought iron, dry ice, fat kids..."

"Bitch" Sam said on instinct before realising that it wasn't his brother giving him grief this time round, he wasn't remorseful however, that really was his childhood image and he wanted nothing less.

"bloody jerk" Dean muttered dismayed that Sam might be suggesting that he and this demon sounded anything alike

Seeing the grievance on Dean's face made Sam wish he'd said it on purpose. Bickering aside he remembered why they were here and slipped back into his game mode all serious and suspicious "How do you even know all this anyway Meg?"

"I asked Cas a lot of questions while we honeymooned together; and what can I say, he with held nothing. Told me damn near everything there is too know about angels, heaven, god and creation; and of course... how to destroy it all" she said darkly.

Sam glanced over at his brother whose hand was edging off of the wheel and toward the knife at his belt

"Just kidding Boy's" Meg laughed "honestly you're both way too easy today"

The tense feeling didn't ease. Dean's mind was at once chock of all the people, hunters, family that had died as a result of the apocalypse Meg had helped to bring about. "Wouldn't put it past you Meg" he muttered

"Why are we here?" Sam asked again with an unmistakeable pissy undertone

"Shh" Meg hissed seeing movement outside.

They all observed as two suited men stepped out of a side door to the heavenly factory unit and stood observing the three of them in the impala; their presents had obviously drawn them out.

"Angel guards" Meg muttered "But only two. Now keep thinking 'pink balloons' while I tell you this" She muttered hastily "I am going to draw those bozos off and keep them distracted while you two are going to sabotage any anti demon crap they have in there and replace it all with anti angel crap"

Before they could question her Meg stepped out of the car and casually walked away whistling some horrible out of tune ditty while leering at the guards. Being the most offensive of the three intruders both the guards focus followed the demons every move as she paused long enough to smile and blow a kiss at them before suspiciously ducking out of sight behind the next dirty old factory unit.

The angels exchanged a look of pure disgust before zapping over to where they had last seen her; cautiously they drew their swords before rounding the corner after her.

The boys watched quietly from the relative safety of the car.

"Two against one" Sam pondered. "if it was anyone else..."

"Yeah but it's not"

They both sat quietly waiting. There was no noise, no angels, and no Meg.

"Well better get this over with" Dean said stepping out with Sam right behind. They made short work picking the locks and crept inside. The ware house was full of people standing eerily still and zombie like just staring at the ceiling.

"This is weird" Dean whispered

Sam tapped a small lady nearest them "Uh hello?" He got no response. He tried again but louder and waved his hand in front of her face but still got no reaction.

"Like I said, weird" Dean said relaxing and taking in their surroundings "Just when you think heaven can't get any creepier there's a room full of zombies"

"We'd better get to work" Sam said looking round some more "The walls are plastered with anti demon signs this is going to take some time" He paused thoughtfully after spraying over several symbols."Are we good letting a demon in here?"

"Angels are dicks I have no absolutely no problem with this" Dean answered as he glanced around. "Bloody creepy dicks" he muttered fully aware of all the motionless bodies behind him.

"Righteous man says yes" Sam said satisfied and carried on working while Dean struggled to pull his attention away from the 'zombie freaks'. Suddenly he spotted something rather distracting

"Cas?" Dean whispered as he approached the smoking remains of a man only recognisable by his miraculously still intact trench coat.

Castiel didn't react he just stared skyward like everyone else.

Just then Meg strode confidently in, tucking the holy weapon she'd used on the guards out of sight "And he thought it was hard living under Raphael's thumb" She said slapping Cas' vessel hard on the back causing it to stumble forward into Dean before resuming its zombie like stance "Relax Dean he's not in there! Look at them all, no one's home! Now come on we don't have much time here" She said as she walked over to help Sam paint anti angel sigils on the walls "Think of it like a giant walk in holy coat rack, angels can't take their physical vessels up into heaven so they leave them here at the gate and zap up. Once we angel proof this room they will all have to find new vessels before they can come after us"

"Then what happens to these vessels?" Dean asked still gawping

"They stay suspended a while longer" Meg said pretending to care, she knew what sappy stuff floated these boys boats and what they needed to hear to get this done "Close the gate completely of course and they, plus yourselves will be free to go back to your otherwise normal lives"

The boys got back to work spray painting while Meg stood back to admire their handy work and rearrange a few of the vessels into more imaginative positions for good measure in case the sigils weren't enough to piss the angels off "All done? Step two then we summon Cas down"

Meg led the way out and closed the door sealing the warehouse shut behind them

Sam and Dean grabbed their summoning kit from the car and began the spell

"Wait" Sam said "Won't Cas be needing his vessel for this?"

"And this is the bit where you learn why I've been so very vague about this whole plan" Meg smiled

"We need to hide Cas from his evil brothers, _all_ of them" Meg paused dramatically to let the gravity of that set in, after all there was probably thousands of angels out there "Now he took great measures to hide you two from every nasty there is, it's your turn to return the favour. Cas' vessel has been tagged if not worse by heaven comprising his safety while in it" She said producing Michael's stone "he can however hide in this"

"Oh like what Anna had" Dean said interested

"You've come across something like this before?" Meg said surprised

"Something like this but it was just her mojo, her power, not her"

"All angels are is power" Meg said getting noticeably more impatient "So he gets condensed into this portable little rock and you guys keep him safe till you can fix all this, let's get going already"

"He can come out though, cant he, 'cause he's going to be a bit useless as a rock" Dean said

"Well there's a way in so there must be a way out" Meg said unconcerned "Think of it as an easy little portable problem to work on while you run for your lives"

There was a pregnant pause. Dean looked to Sam who was the thinker. Sam was indeed thinking, his face drawn to a point between bitchy and Lucifer possessed vengeful. This was serious thought.

Meg really didn't like that expression "Look either they kill him, he kills himself or you two hold on to one more problem till you figure it all out _which_ you always do now do it already we don't have all the time in the world here guy's"

Meg had Dean at the 'he kills himself' but Sam was obviously hesitating "There's a catch here we're either missing something or you not telling us..."

There was a not too distant roar which resonated through their chests like thunder

Dean looked at Meg accusingly

"What?" Meg said meeting Dean's stare "That has nothing to do with me"

"It wouldn't be the first time you set a hound on us"

"That was like forever ago"

"Dean that was actually more like a roar than a barking" Sam corrected pissing Dean off further

"Well thanks Sammy Attenbourgh, it's still a questionable coincidence that whatever it is just so happens to show up now"

"Well maybe it's a gate guardian?" Meg suggested

"You don't know do you?" Sam said suspisiously

"Fine no I don't so what?"

"You said Cas told you everything. What's all this really about?" Sam demanded levelling Meg with a look that really could kill, his fingers twitched as he felt a strange old familiar power flicker to life deep in his veins.

Meg knew that look "Okay getting Cas out of heaven is pretty much a priority for a few people right now, a few powerful people who feel threatened by your free will and bloody awful choice in music."

"Who?" Sam demanded twitching some more

"Well mostly Michael, as he's still pissed over that whole 'assbut apocalypse' thing. Lucifer, a bit, as despite the chaos Cas is actually beating his tally of angel deaths. Crowley, to an extent, as he has to listen to those two bitchin' about heavens affairs in the pit, but he wants you all dead anyway" Meg said counting off her fingers "And probably the whole of heaven as Cas refuses to just lie down and die. So yeah a few"

"Stubborn bastard"Dean sighed, "He's learnt from the best"

"That's not stopping everyone from hitting him" Meg near hollered

"And he really wanted to make up with his family" Sam did holler at Dean who looked at his feet a bit.

"Look" Meg said impatiently "Do this my way and you still have a chance against heaven and hell, you still have your freedom and each other" Just then the monstrous roar sounded again drowning out the arguing and bringing everyone back to their current predicament "Well whatever, I'm out of here, good luck boys"

"Wait, where are you going?" Dean demanded

"To hide my eyes your summoning a naked angel remember? All that unstable power and me an obvious lighting rod"

"But the... Oh shit what is that?" Dean said as he saw a huge lion based hybrid beast step out from behind the factory they had just vacated. "No really what is that?"

"It's actually a manticore" Meg politely informed him

"Where the hell did that come from?" Sam gasped astonished, "The books clearly state that they were from Iran, what was it about America that attracts every kind of monster from every corner of the bloody earth?"

"Ever thought that maybe, just maybe it's you that's attracting them?" Meg said sarcastically as she recognized the beast from one of yellow eyes lower dungeons, which meant that Crowley was probably responsible for the thing being there "Relax it's only a young one, more likely to dribble and chew you to death than kill you in seconds" Just as she said it the beast smiled a wide Cheshire cat kind of grin revealing its three sets of needle like teeth "You'll be fine, you guy's always are" Meg said while walking casually away "Just hurry up getting your angel and don't strike up a conversation with it"

Sam quickly lit the bowl of ingredients for the summoning spell and Dean spoke the words with a few corrections from Sam as they both watched the circling monster.

"It's not working" Sam said after the longest minute on earth had passed

"Well duh" Dean said backing away from the bowl as the monster advanced on them. Its smiling human face looked almost inviting but its size and cat like stalk said otherwise. Slowly it raised its bat like wings in a slow lazy stretch revealing a long poisonous looking scorpion tail. Dean glanced over to where they had left the Impala with all their guns in it a few hundred feet away "We can't out run it"

"I wasn't planning to" Sam grinned readying for a fight

0000

"So" Anna said bored out of her head having exhausted every line of conversation possible. Cas had contributed nothing save for a hum of agreement every now and then. Well now it was his turn to make small talk "Any luck finding God?" she ventured; this was the one topic she knew he would respond to.

"No" Cas answered sincerely his look went from stoic boredom to guilty defeat as he realised he hadn't been looking for a while now, well not consciously but actually... Cas' mood suddenly brightened as he realised that God's words were all around subliminally talking to the weary listener, had he manifested himself in something non tangible? Is that how he managed to be so elusive? "But I think he might be in seventy's music" Cas stated just as the new idea fully formed in his head.

"No" Anna's voice sounded sharp like Deans might when schooling a little brother, "hard core drugs are in seventy's music"

"Oh" Cas said disappointed, he'd only just hit on the idea but it had been his best guess for a long time. Quickly he perked up again as a new revelation occurred to him "Then maybe he's in hard core drugs?"

"Well you wouldn't be the first to go looking there"

"Excuse me I'm getting a prayer"

Anna cussed at being brushed off as her brother listened to Dean's message

"Cas we're in real real shit here someone's set a friggin' manticore on us, possibly Michael can you believe? Apparently him and Lucifer still have some influence in the cage, anyway this manticore, I can't get Sam off it. The noise Cas, it's bad. Really bad. Please get here soon. The end. Over and out. You're not here yet, come on man you know I'm allergic to bloody cats. Don't do that thing where you disappear for weeks on end you unreliable prick just show up and do this already. Shit I'd better help Sam..."

"I have to go" Cas said getting up and pacing impatiently checking their surroundings and weighing up his options

"How? There's no getting out of heavens jail remember? Not unless they make a deal and they let you out"

"Desperate times Anna" Cas said drawing his angel blade as he came to a decision.

"What are you going to do?"

Cas stood right up close to the bars "I'm not really sure but hopefully I'm getting out of here. I do know I need to do this just right to stand any chance of it working" Cas said as he angled the blade under his chin

"Wo, wo, wo! Wait! What are you doing?" Anna said panicked

"Killing myself, obviously"

"I'm no angel anymore but wasn't there some rule about not committing suicide? Something about the flood gates opening?"

"Why does everyone presume I'm stupid?" Cas said giving his sister a look of deep accusation "Of course I know there's some rule and I've even given it some thought. I came up with three likely scenarios one goes, when I resurrect the gates will close and most of the power will remain inside so no big deal. Two; I'll actually die so won't really care and the third ill resurrect with no power, as heaven is now empty, and will soon die from common cold or something so won't care for all that long"

"What about the rest of heaven?"

"Meh, we're all dicks Anna"

"That sounds bleak even for an emotionless bastard; are you really wanting to die? For this? For those damn Winchesters?"

"Sometimes yes, other times I do see your point, but right now I have little reason to feel good and saving them feels good. So while I still have free will to decide my own fate here goes"

Cas flashed out (no vessel in heaven so just disappears) heavens gates spilled open like a scene from ghost busters as souls came beaming out like fireworks. Sam, Dean and the manticore covered their eyes as a rush of light like a tsunami erupted out from heaven's (Or the dirty old factory's loading bay) gates.

Meg however swam against the tide, it had always been her ambition to get into heaven one way or another and this was, she believed, her chance. She headed for the light.

Then the gates closed as Cas resurrected, luckily reappearing on the other side of his cells bars.

"Well that was best case scenario I guess" Cas said sounding unconvincing as to whether he actually believed it or not

"You just risked the whole of heaven for your stupid depression and even stuipider friends" Anna scolded obviously pissed

"Yes" Cas agreed "Good bye Anna I'll put in a good word for you when I get the chance"

"No one will admit to liking you Cas so save it, you'd be doing me no favours"

"Exactly, stop thinking I'm stupid" Cas said zapping out of there

"You're still a dick" Anna smiled, some things never change.

0000


End file.
